Mischa Barton Eliminated on DWTS Season 22, Week 03.
So DWTS
and company officially waved (what sure seemed like) a grateful “Buh-Bye” to
the Bitter Ballroom Blues on Monday, as the ever-morose Mischa Barton was Eliminated from the Dance Program.
Only 3 Weeks into the show’s newest Season and
ALREADY a long time in coming, Mirthless
Mischa leaves her mark on America’s beloved Glitter Dome as one of the
saddest (in EVERY sense of the word!)
Competitors to have ever (dis-) graced the Ballroom!
(<Shudder> I mean, “Sheesh!”, right?!WHAT a
Dancing Downer!!)
“It’s been a wonderful experience, it really has.” Barton commented during her
Monday Night exit.
(REALLY??It has???‘Cause for us, it’s been kinda horrible!) Oh, let’s not kid ourselves, Mischa!… You’ve (In my opinion) abhorred every
moment and so have we. … And, to hear
to you complain about it, it’s ALLArtem’s fault …
Ladies and Gentlemen, it is with the utmost somberness and solemnity that I regret to inform you of yet another Dancing Death within
the recent string of deaths occurring in the world of Ballroom made once again
by the Glitter Dome’s Gruesome Gal …Dancing a Slop bucket of a Samba, it’s Ballroom’s
newest Blight, Mischa Barton,
and her “Give-this-man-a-raise!”-Professional partner, Artem Chigvintsev.
Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 03
(What did we, the Fans, ever do to the Show to
deserve this?)
Yesiree, folks, performing yet another horridly
horrific Latin Routine, it’s MirthlessMischa, scarring us all with yet another Dancing Eyesore!
ZERO lack of Rhythm and Musicality (Good grief,
people, she couldn’t even CLAP on time!), Gasp-inducing Footwork, and a
downright Deplorable Frame brought this so-called “Dance” shockingly to life
just before it died again, all before our very (terror-filled) eyes on Monday
night’s Dance Floor!
Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 03
… And yet, despite all of these Ballroom Atrocities
being committed right there on live Television, the important thing to remember
here, Fellow Victims, is that (according to Barton) it is NOT her fault!
“I was relying on YOU to make it a positive
experience!” scolded Mischa
to her poor Pro, Artem,
following her Week 02 Performance (as shown in her Week 03 Rehearsal Package).
“I can’t do another Week of this!” she complained,
“He’s [Artem’s] not getting it and it’s horrible for me!”
(“Horrible” for YOU?!What about us, the Viewers?Do you honestly think that WE want to watch
this horrendous flailing you’ve had the nerve to call “Dancing”?!!)
Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 03
“I’ve always been a very ‘Instinctual’, ‘Reactive’
person,” Mischa went on to further expound during her Rehearsal Footage - Oh, THERE’S two words for a “Self-obsessed
Brooder” that I’ve never heard before …
- just before executing, what I
feel confident was, one of the WORST
SAMBAS ever seen on this Program!
Still, as Mischa herself noted, following her Samba,
not all was a complete loss, “…
It’s been really fun to dance with the Troupe!”
Oh.Oh, I see
what you mean there, Barton … “It’s been really fun to dance with the Troupe”
as long as said “Troupe” pads you from the big, bad Artem, is that it?
I am so very sincerely glad that you are gone from
the Show!… I mean, honestly, WHAT a
waste of space and time!!
See video (below) to watch Mischa & Artem's Samba on Week 03 of DWTS, Courtesy of Dancing With The Stars' great YouTube channel!
“Dancing” (Just not in the traditional sense of the word, I guess!) the Cha-Cha to “Pata Pata”
by Miriam Makeba, it’s Mischa “It’s not MY fault!” Barton,
and her poor, poor (poor, POOR!) Professional partner, Artem Chivintsev!
Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 02
It was Artem’s
“strict” Teaching Method; it was the lack of Music in Rehearsal; it was the Live Music during the actual
Performance; it was the too-difficult, Choreographed Steps; it was the
uncomfortable (given the way she was constantly slouching in it and tugging at
it) Dress … Oh, heck! It may have even
been that non-existent Fly buzzing
‘round the Ballroom! … It was ANYTHING
(… anything, anything, ANYTHING!) but
Mischa’s own fault that that
Dance was so (Oh, what’s the word?) … HORRIFIC!!
Well, make no mistake, “Blues” Barton, (and don’t kid yourself now) that was all you,
Sad Sack!
Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 02
… And let me tell you that
the ensuing outcome was sooo much
worse than you had feared.
(But, hey!Cheer up (if that’s possible), not ALL is so very bleak!
… Now we (the Fans) can all dread next Week’s
Routine with you!
Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 02
I mean, after all, what’s that saying about Misery
loving company?…
Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 02
See video (below) to watch Mischa & Artem's Cha-cha on Week 02 of DWTS, Courtesy of Dancing With The Stars' great YouTube channel!
