DWTS Season 22, Week 01
REVIEW: Mischa & Artem
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| Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 01
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I see Dancing People! … And let me tell you, folks, the incurring
result is no less freakishly frightening than that of The Sixth Sense’s
Gruesomely Grim Ghosts and Ghouls of the 1990s!!
Dancing a watered-down Tango (Perhaps in an effort
to better match Mischa’s
seemingly always watering eyes) to “In the Night” (Waste of a perfectly good
Tango Song, really!) by The Weeknd,
Mischa Barton and her
Professional partner, Artem
Chigvintsev, submitted their Week 01 Performance.
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Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 01
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Wow! Truly, that was so awful, I’m not even really sure what to say!
“That wasn’t Dance, it was Walking!” chided Head Judge, Len Goodman, concerning the Death of the age-old Dance!
Oooo, yes!! Thank you, Len, and well said! Now I think I’ll take it from here …
WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS THAT??!!!
Because I can sure as heck tell you what it WASN’T … The Tango!
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Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 01
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An overall Epic Fail of a Routine, what should have (stereotypically) been an exquisite exhibition of Fierce Attack, Formidable Frame, Emoting Passion, and Strong, Defiant Lines was instead tragically traded in for a Weak, Watery-eyed Attitude, a Non-Existent Framing, just about all the Emoting Passion of a common Rock, and Lines with the general disposition of a wilted Flower Petal!
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Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 01
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Not to mention (and to make matters worse!), Mischa went on to display (in my opinion), following her low-scored Dance of all 5’s, a detestable amount of ill manners and self-disillusion when she chose to blame her horrific efforts - if they could even be called that - on her partner Artem’s strict Teaching Method and her own lack of Dance experience.
Oh, Pleeeease!! Good grief, Mischa, how “strict” could Artem be, because it certainly seems clear that YOU felt less than driven when it came down to executing this Routine!
And you can quit your whining about “Dance
experience” as well, as you yourself have elected to join up with what is an (Stay with me, now …) AMATURE, Celebrity Competition!
Honestly, Barton, do try and keep up.
See video (below) to watch Mischa & Artem's Tango on Week 01 of DWTS, Courtesy of Dancing With The Stars' great YouTube channel!
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