Mischa Barton Eliminated on DWTS Season 22, Week 03.
So DWTS
and company officially waved (what sure seemed like) a grateful “Buh-Bye” to
the Bitter Ballroom Blues on Monday, as the ever-morose Mischa Barton was Eliminated from the Dance Program.
Only 3 Weeks into the show’s newest Season and
ALREADY a long time in coming, Mirthless
Mischa leaves her mark on America’s beloved Glitter Dome as one of the
saddest (in EVERY sense of the word!)
Competitors to have ever (dis-) graced the Ballroom!
(<Shudder> I mean, “Sheesh!”, right?!WHAT a
Dancing Downer!!)
“It’s been a wonderful experience, it really has.” Barton commented during her
Monday Night exit.
(REALLY??It has???‘Cause for us, it’s been kinda horrible!) Oh, let’s not kid ourselves, Mischa!… You’ve (In my opinion) abhorred every
moment and so have we. … And, to hear
to you complain about it, it’s ALLArtem’s fault …
Ladies and Gentlemen, it is with the utmost somberness and solemnity that I regret to inform you of yet another Dancing Death within
the recent string of deaths occurring in the world of Ballroom made once again
by the Glitter Dome’s Gruesome Gal …Dancing a Slop bucket of a Samba, it’s Ballroom’s
newest Blight, Mischa Barton,
and her “Give-this-man-a-raise!”-Professional partner, Artem Chigvintsev.
Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 03
(What did we, the Fans, ever do to the Show to
deserve this?)
Yesiree, folks, performing yet another horridly
horrific Latin Routine, it’s MirthlessMischa, scarring us all with yet another Dancing Eyesore!
ZERO lack of Rhythm and Musicality (Good grief,
people, she couldn’t even CLAP on time!), Gasp-inducing Footwork, and a
downright Deplorable Frame brought this so-called “Dance” shockingly to life
just before it died again, all before our very (terror-filled) eyes on Monday
night’s Dance Floor!
Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 03
… And yet, despite all of these Ballroom Atrocities
being committed right there on live Television, the important thing to remember
here, Fellow Victims, is that (according to Barton) it is NOT her fault!
“I was relying on YOU to make it a positive
experience!” scolded Mischa
to her poor Pro, Artem,
following her Week 02 Performance (as shown in her Week 03 Rehearsal Package).
“I can’t do another Week of this!” she complained,
“He’s [Artem’s] not getting it and it’s horrible for me!”
(“Horrible” for YOU?!What about us, the Viewers?Do you honestly think that WE want to watch
this horrendous flailing you’ve had the nerve to call “Dancing”?!!)
Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 03
“I’ve always been a very ‘Instinctual’, ‘Reactive’
person,” Mischa went on to further expound during her Rehearsal Footage - Oh, THERE’S two words for a “Self-obsessed
Brooder” that I’ve never heard before …
- just before executing, what I
feel confident was, one of the WORST
SAMBAS ever seen on this Program!
Still, as Mischa herself noted, following her Samba,
not all was a complete loss, “…
It’s been really fun to dance with the Troupe!”
Oh.Oh, I see
what you mean there, Barton … “It’s been really fun to dance with the Troupe”
as long as said “Troupe” pads you from the big, bad Artem, is that it?
I am so very sincerely glad that you are gone from
the Show!… I mean, honestly, WHAT a
waste of space and time!!
See video (below) to watch Mischa & Artem's Samba on Week 03 of DWTS, Courtesy of Dancing With The Stars' great YouTube channel!
Let's hear it for the Band! Dancing With The Stars' always fabulous live Band, Ray Chew Live, receives a hard-earned moment in the Spotlight! - Season 22, Week 01
No, Ray, YOU! DWTS' live Band Director, Ray Chew, gets his due props! - Season 22, Week 01
From L to R: Season 22 Cast members, Nyle DiMarco, Peta Murgatroyd, Von Miller, and Wanya Morris, laugh it up and soak it all in at the beginning of the Season's spectacular Premiere! - Week 01
"Oh, yuck it up!" MMA's Pint-sized Phenomenon, Paige Vanzant, laughs with (.... Okay, "At"!) her Pro partner, Mark Ballas, during this fun Rehearsal Package shown at Season 22's Premiere! - Week 01
From L to R: Three of Week 01's Highest Scoring Hoofers, Nyle, Ginger, and Val! - Season 22
From L to R: Season 22 Competitors, Marla Maples, Peta Murgatroyd, Nyle DiMarco, Ginger Zee, Val Chmerkovskiy, Artem Chigvintsev, Mischa Barton, Sharna Burgess, Antonio Brown, and Geraldo Rivera! - Week 01, Premiere
DWTS' "Boomin'!" Couple, Antonio & Sharna cheer on some of their fellow dancing Competitors! - S22, Wk01
And the crowd goes wild! Applause, cheers, and yes, even some tears erupt across DWTS' Ballroom and Balcony immediately following Deaf Model, Nyle Di Marco's INCREDIBLE Cha-Cha! - Season 22, Week 01
Season 22's Ginger & Val enthusiastically use American Sign Language to cheer for their fellow Contestant, Nyle DiMarco, when he submits what was, unquestionably, the best Performance of the evening! - Season 22, Week 01
Unbelievable! From L to R: Mark Ballas, Tony Dovolani, Marla Maples, Valentin Chmerkovskiy, Ginger Zee, and Paige Vanzant are positively blown away (Right along with the rest of Monday night's Viewers!) by Deaf Contestant, Nyle DiMarco, as they cheer for his AMAZING, high-scoring Cha-Cha! - Season 22, Week 01, Premiere
From L to R: Mark Ballas, Paige Vanzant, Keo Motsepe, and Jodie Sweetin give yet another, always appreciated, Big Hand from the Balcony! - Season 22, Week 01
From L to R: Season 22's debuting Cast members, Marla & Tony, Jodie & Keo, Doug & Karina, Antonio & Sharna, Kim & Sasha, Geraldo & Edyta, Paige & Mark, Ginger & Val, Von & Witney, Mischa & Artem, Nyle & Peta, and Wanya & Lindsay!
All together now! DWTS' Pros and Troupe members are joined out of doors by a throng of its enthusiastic Fans, as part of Season 22's grand Premiere! - Opening Number, Week 01
Dancing With The Stars' Pros, Lindsay Arnold and Mark Ballas - Season 22, Week 01
From L to R: Dancing With The Stars' Pros, Tony Dovolani, Sharna Burgess, Sasha Farber, and Karina Smirnoff, out and about once more and totally killing it!! - Season 22, Week 01
From L to R: 2-time Mirror Ball Champion, Mark Ballas, Troupe member Shannon Holtzapffel, Pro, Lindsay Arnold, Mirror Ball Champion, Witney Carson, and Mirror Ball Champion, Valentin Chmerkovskiy! - Season 22, Week 01, Opening Number
Ready to <Ahem> Take Down the competition, MMA's pint-sized Paige VanZant "Weighs-in" on Season 22's Premiere Opening Number, along with her smiling Professional partner, Mark Ballas! - DWTS, S22, Wk01
Iron Glove, Velvet Kiss! DWTS' Paige & Mark dance into Season 22's Premiere! - Week 01
Officially making their DWTS debut, America's Next Top Model winner, Nyle DiMarco, and Pro partner, Peta Mugatroyd, pose together and pos-o-tive-ly kill it for Season 22's Opening Number! - Week 01
GMA's beloved Forecaster, Ginger Zee (Center Left), is joined by her Professional partner, Valentine Chmerkovskiy (Center Right), and accompanying Troupe members, Jenna Johnson (Left) and Hayley Erbert (Right), in her Dancing DWTS Introduction! - Season 22, Week 01
Famed Talk Show Host, Geraldo Rivera, is formally introduced, along with his Professional dancing partner, Returning Pro, Edyta Sliwinska, during Season 22's exciting Opening Number! - DWTS, S22, Wk01
"Everywhere You Look", Full and Fuller House Flashbacks! From L to R: Hayley Erbert, Jodie Sweetin, Keo Motsepe and Jenna Johnson "adorbs" it up and join in the fun for DWTS' amazing, Season Premiere! - Season 22, Week 01
"We're in troubl-l-l-l-le!" Former Facts of Life Actress, Kim Fields, joins in on the dancing action, along with her newly reinstated Pro, Sasha Farber, for Season 22 exciting Opening Number! - Week 01, Premiere
"Roll wit' Me"! Boyz II Men Singer, Wanya Morris, and his Professional dancing partner, Lindsay Arnold, dance it out at DWTS' fantastic Season Premiere! - Opening Number, S22, Wk01
"Give me a 'D'! Give me an 'O'! Give me an 'U'! Give me a 'G'! What's that spell?!" Football Legend, Doug Flutie, "cheered on" by his Professional dance partner, Karina Smirnoff, for Season 22's grand Premiere! - Week 01
How's business? "BOOMIN'!" DWTS, Season 22 Contestant, Antonio Brown.
Boys, boys, BOYS! NFL Rivals, Von Miller and Antonio Brown, are swiftly "pulled apart" by their respective Pros, Witney Carson and Sharna Burgess! - Season 22, Week 01
<Loud Whistle Blowing> Here to blow the whistle on any <Ahem> Foul dancing, it's Returning Head Judge, Len Goodman, back in the Ballroom and better than ever! - Season 22, Week 01
“Dancing” (Just not in the traditional sense of the word, I guess!) the Cha-Cha to “Pata Pata”
by Miriam Makeba, it’s Mischa “It’s not MY fault!” Barton,
and her poor, poor (poor, POOR!) Professional partner, Artem Chivintsev!
Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 02
It was Artem’s
“strict” Teaching Method; it was the lack of Music in Rehearsal; it was the Live Music during the actual
Performance; it was the too-difficult, Choreographed Steps; it was the
uncomfortable (given the way she was constantly slouching in it and tugging at
it) Dress … Oh, heck! It may have even
been that non-existent Fly buzzing
‘round the Ballroom! … It was ANYTHING
(… anything, anything, ANYTHING!) but
Mischa’s own fault that that
Dance was so (Oh, what’s the word?) … HORRIFIC!!
Well, make no mistake, “Blues” Barton, (and don’t kid yourself now) that was all you,
Sad Sack!
Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 02
… And let me tell you that
the ensuing outcome was sooo much
worse than you had feared.
(But, hey!Cheer up (if that’s possible), not ALL is so very bleak!
… Now we (the Fans) can all dread next Week’s
Routine with you!
Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 02
I mean, after all, what’s that saying about Misery
loving company?…
Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 02
See video (below) to watch Mischa & Artem's Cha-cha on Week 02 of DWTS, Courtesy of Dancing With The Stars' great YouTube channel!
I see Dancing People!… And let me tell you, folks, the incurring
result is no less freakishly frightening than that of TheSixth Sense’s
Gruesomely Grim Ghosts and Ghouls of the 1990s!!
Dancing a watered-down Tango (Perhaps in an effort
to better match Mischa’s
seemingly always watering eyes) to “In the Night” (Waste of a perfectly good
Tango Song, really!) by The Weeknd,
Mischa Barton and her
Professional partner, Artem
Chigvintsev, submitted their Week 01 Performance.
Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 01
Wow!Truly,
that was so awful, I’m not even really sure what to say!
“That wasn’t Dance, it was Walking!” chided Head
Judge, Len Goodman, concerning
the Death of the age-old Dance! Oooo, yes!!Thank you, Len, and
well said!Now I think I’ll take it from
here …
WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS THAT??!!!
Because I can sure as heck tell you what it WASN’T
… The Tango!
Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 01
An overall Epic Fail of a Routine, what should have (stereotypically) been an
exquisite exhibition of Fierce Attack, Formidable Frame, Emoting Passion, and
Strong, Defiant Lines was instead tragically traded in for a Weak, Watery-eyed
Attitude, a Non-Existent Framing, just about all the Emoting Passion of a
common Rock, and Lines with the general disposition of a wilted Flower Petal!
Mischa & Artem
DWTS Season 22, Week 01
Not to mention (and to make matters worse!), Mischa
went on to display (in my opinion), following her low-scored Dance of all 5’s,
a detestable amount of ill manners
and self-disillusion when she chose to blame her horrific efforts - if they
could even be called that - on her partner Artem’s
strict Teaching Method and her own lack of Dance experience.
Oh, Pleeeease!!Good grief, Mischa, how “strict” could Artem
be, because it certainly seems clear that YOU felt less than driven when it
came down to executing this Routine!
And you can quit your whining about “Dance
experience” as well, as you yourself have elected to join up with what is an (Stay with me, now …) AMATURE, Celebrity Competition!
Honestly, Barton,
do try and keep up.
See video (below) to watch Mischa & Artem's Tango on Week 01 of DWTS, Courtesy of Dancing With The Stars' great YouTube channel!
