DWTS Season 21, Week 03
REVIEW: Carlos & Witney
Dancing an adorable Jazz number (the Grandma Hair-bob never looked so
cute!) to “Thank You For Being A Friend”, by Cynthia Fee, from The
Golden Girls, Carlos PenaVega
and his Professional partner, Witney
Carson, kicked off TV Night!
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Carlos & Witney's Jazz
DWTS Season 21, Week 03 -
TV Week
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Okay, first off, exactly what lame-brain, egg-head thought that this dragging ballad / comparatively-geriatric song in the world of songs was even close to being suitable for a DWTS Jazz routine?!
Secondly, isn’t compelling Witney
(of all people!) to dress as a sweet lil’ ol’ Lady somewhere close to being a
dancing Misdemeanor, or something? (Despite the fact that she wound up
totally pulling it of … Well done, Wit! ... and Carlos was so adorable as an old dude!)
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Carlos & Witney's Jazz
DWTS Season 21, Week 03 -
TV Week
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And finally, WHAT ARE THE JUDGES TALKING ABOUT?!!!
Carlos & Witney completely killed that routine!!!
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Carlos & Witney's Jazz
DWTS Season 21, Week 03 -
TV Week
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You, Dancing with the Stars, are the ones who required them to dance to the slowest, most unimpressive (Sorry, Cynthia), TV ballad on the planet; and, they nailed it!!!!
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Carlos & Witney's Jazz
DWTS Season 21, Week 03 -
TV Week
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They combined genius-ly cute, “nerdy”, and “hobbled” choreography with perfectly-executed steps; and, friggin’ made dancing “lemonade”!! (Witney, your choreographing genius obviously knows no bounds!) So, again, I repeat, WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT?!!!!!
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Carlos & Witney's Jazz
DWTS Season 21, Week 03 -
TV Week
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And what, by the way, is with Alfonso Ribeiro?! (AKA “Mr.-I-won-one-friggin’-Mirror-Ball (THANKS TO WITNEY) -and-now-I-am-the-Master-of-all-things-dance,-watch-me-condescend! ????!!)
I mean, WHAT a disappointment! … “Phil! Phil, you changed, man!” (any Eddie
Murphy fans out there? No? Well, never mind!)
“ … Carlos, all I want from you, is to deliver a little more energy” began the great Ballroom Master, formerly
known as “Alfonso” (You did catch that they were dancing to the
theme from Golden Girls, right Alfonso?). “Really, when you use your arms, just really finish it! It feels sometimes like you’re being a little
safe. So just let it all out and let it
fly!”.
Alright, alright, let’s take a pause and get off the Crazy Train for
just a second here, could we?
<Breathing purposefully, Composing myself … Ahem!> First thing’s first, WHAT?! And next, did you
even watch the dance?! His lines were completely finished, and his “energy” level was at 100%!! That dance had so much energy, I am sure it would have taxed even you, Obi-wan!
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Carlos & Witney's Jazz
DWTS Season 21, Week 03 -
TV Week
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Come now, admit it, you had your little Ballroom-Guest-Judge speech prepared for Carlos before you even showed up tonight, didn’t you? I mean one can only assume, because what you most certainly were NOT doing was judging the expertly-danced performance taking place RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! …
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Carlos & Witney's Jazz
DWTS Season 21, Week 03 -
TV Week
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Were you worried about people thinking you were going to be partial to your former Dance Partner, or something, because now you just look like a “know-it-all” novice.
I really liked and enjoyed Alfonso (A whole lot!) when competing in
Season 19, and I still do (as hard as that is to remember at this particular
moment …); but, I did NOT care for this post-win, judging Alfonso in the slightest!
“ … You might've gotten into character a little bit too much,” added
judge, Julianne Hough, when “Al-sage-o”
was through. “There was like some hunched shoulders going on.”
<Holding head> Oh good grief,
does it have to be spelled for you judges?!
THEY WERE PLAYING OLD PEOPLE, AND IT WAS A JAZZ ROUTINE, WHERE
THEY (conveniently enough) HAD THE CREATIVE FREEDOM TO DO SO!
Duh!! … This was SUPPOSED to be a “Twilight Years” (also known as the “Golden Years”!) routine! … Sheesh!
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Carlos & Witney's Jazz
DWTS Season 21, Week 03 -
TV Week
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Julianne continued with, “ … but overall, I thought that it was a fun, creative dance ... that the choreography was really great!”
Oh! As a closing note to the
whole messed-up affair (and as much as it pains me to say it), Carlos, while I may
have nothing but love for your dancing; and, while I happen to think you are one
of the nicest Cast members of Season 21, please do not EVER again suggest that Witney is fat (your "could you not eat tomorrow" jab was messed up, dude!) just because YOU are having trouble learning the
Lifts! … It is just wrong, in so (so) many ways.
All that being said, your dance this week was , once again, absolutely fabulous!! Great job, guys <sticking tongue out at the judges!> !
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Carlos & Witney's Jazz
DWTS Season 21, Week 03 -
TV Week
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See video (below) to watch Carlos & Witney's Jazz on Week 03 of DWTS... Courtesy of Dancing With The Stars great YouTube channel!
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